This is a reverse job application because the application process undermines my value as a worker and show-case very little of my personality. I have gone my entire life consistently producing excellent results at every take I set my mind to, and quite frankly, I have learned the right for employers to come to me.
As you read this you are probably wondering what sort of person believes that he is entitled to have companies send him job offers without any demonstrations of his purported talent? Well, continue reading and looking at the sketched pictures and I'm sure you'll be racking your brain trying to think up a job position to offer me that will pique my interest. However, in the unlikely case that you are not, I am confident that a quick review of my fabulous resume will win you over.
Once you've made up your mind about how much you want me to work with your company (before you ask, yes, "infinitely much" is indeed an acceptable answer here), please review my listed qualifications and criteria for prospective employers. If you do not currently meat any of these, I encourage you to literally institute company - wide changes until you do. I will favor those jobs that closely align with my skills, offers new challenges, and the ability to learn new skills; just be sure to let me know exactly what it is that you feel your company has to offer me. Once you have your offer ready, submit it via the form below and I will gladly entertain it. Remember, there is only one way for your company's profit's to increase when I come aboard and that is up.
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